Dear Coleen
I am a woman in my twenties who has recently started a relationship with someone. While he is attractive and engaging, his excessive eagerness is overwhelming me. This level of attention so early in a relationship is unfamiliar to me, as my previous experiences involved uncertainty about mutual interest.
We have already spent a weekend together, socialized with his colleagues, met his family, and he frequently communicates via text. Despite positive feedback from my friends, who have briefly interacted with him, I am feeling unsure about the situation.
I am contemplating whether I should suggest slowing down the pace to regain some personal space and reflection time. While I value his enthusiasm, I also need to evaluate my emotions independently. I am hesitant about causing any harm as there is a possibility that he could be the right partner for me. Should I view this situation as a warning sign or should I be more receptive to the romantic gestures?
Coleen says
It seems like a lot has happened in a short period, leading to the intensity you are experiencing. However, there is no need to rush into any decisions. It would be beneficial to communicate your feelings openly and observe his reaction. If he respects your need for space, it indicates maturity. Simply express that while you enjoy his company, things are progressing rapidly, and you require some personal time and space to balance your life and emotions. Clarify that you are navigating this high level of enthusiasm cautiously!
If you genuinely see a future with him and have strong feelings, do not hesitate to share your thoughts. Establish a foundation of transparency and honesty from the outset.
Maintaining a bit of distance and retaining a playful dynamic can be healthy. It is essential not to take each other for granted and strive to keep the relationship exciting.
In comparison to past relationships where commitment was lacking, a partner who expresses genuine interest and seeks a serious relationship should be viewed positively rather than as a cause for concern.
If the pace feels overwhelming, consider spacing out activities and slowing down the progression – it does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.